I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize