How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
