she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
