I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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