you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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