It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
