We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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