Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
