He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
