I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
