Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
