How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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