i barfeds in our rink
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
