in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You dont lie about slip and slides
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
