he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
