he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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