Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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