she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Actions speak louder than pants.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
