i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
