You're so nebulous sometimes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
