I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
