Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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