My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
