and next time when you feel me up, do it right
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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