my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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