just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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