I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
