Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
