The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize