He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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