I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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