His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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