More tranny stories later!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
