peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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