took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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