I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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