U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just found puke in my bra..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
