why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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