Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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