if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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