she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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