I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
