How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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