Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
