he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
