man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
