i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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