oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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