Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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