i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
