Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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