Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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