What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
