The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
