Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
