Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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