if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
