Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
