1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
