also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
