I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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