i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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