I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
