out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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