We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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