some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
