Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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